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emmugh:

I like new friends because I can reuse old jokes


suppdel:

do you ever just crave someone’s presence? like you would literally be happy just sitting next to them. it could be completely silent and it would just be magical to be there with them.


vaniccio:

i struggle between wanting to stay up late and wanting extra hours of sleep


headqueerleader:

My favorite thing about this show is that they portray straight people as obnoxiously ignorant about sexuality as they actually are in real life.


mydogsnokes:

i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don’t die after 2 days


horror movie opening scene

  • white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  • white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  • white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
  • white boy: lmao
  • they continue walking for a few seconds
  • *white couple hears noise*
  • white girl: babe what that??
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *leaves her alone*
  • *choking noises*
  • white girl: zack!!!
  • white boy: ha ha just kidding!
  • white girl: asshole!
  • white boy: im just playin babe
  • white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  • *playful kiss*
  • *things turn sexy*
  • *hear noise*
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  • *maybe a thud*
  • white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  • *she walks and he dead*
  • white girl: ahhh!!
  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  • white girl: ahhh!!!
  • *white girl runs*
  • *dead end*
  • *hides*
  • *thinks she free n safe*
  • *guy catches her*
  • *cuts her*
  • *she dead*
  • opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

budvveiser:

do you think clouds look down on people and think “that ones shaped like an idiot”


heyfunniest:

stunningpicture:

This is what happens to a basketball court when the pipes burst

wob wob wob

heyfunniest:

stunningpicture:

This is what happens to a basketball court when the pipes burst

wob wob wob